Okay, I am going to be completely honest here for a minute. I am absolutely thrilled, ecstatic, awed and so terrified of having a little girl. I know I am being a bit irrational and silly. But, I was kind of glad that Noah was a boy. I knew from pretty much the very beginning of our marriage that we would have a boy. I prepared myself for this ball of energy and excitment, for snuggles, trucks, wrestling and lots of toot talking from the beginning of my dreams. I felt a bit more prepared in some ways of what to expect from being this little boys mom.
So, what it really comes down too is that, I feel a bit unprepared, awed, overwhelmed and panic over having a girl. Which makes no sense to me because you would think with this being my third pregnancy and 2nd baby that I would feel a bit more calm about the entire situation. I don't think it helps that I have had quite a few people state that they think this little girl is going to be a bundle of trouble and angst. I had to ask them to stop talking about their feeling, for it was causing me a bit more stress than I could handle. Kersten has been cursed by his mother to have a child just like him, and with feeling I have about this girls personality and from the ultrasound, I feel as if Kersten already understands her a bit better than I do. I want her to be well rounded. My wish is that she will sometimes play princess with me and also climb trees and dig in the dirt with Noah. Maybe I am hoping to much.
I know all of these worries are probably unfounded and completely void of reason. But they are still there always lurking in the forefront of my mind. I am afraid to be the example that this sweet one has of a woman. This is how a woman should be, should act, should feel and treat other people. Lately, I have been seeing all my imperfections with a huge magnify glass. I will come to grips with these silly notions in my head. Heavenly Father and I have discussed them at great length. So I know it is completely me. And if I just do the best I can for this girl that is all that is asked of me and leave the rest to the Lord. So I say, HOORAY! for sweet, active, funny, giggly, spazzy, twirling little dancer, gymnast, princess, tomboy little girls.
(Thanks to Aunt Virginia who brought us the amazing cake the day we found out it was a GIRL)
10 comments:
Lou, you will do fantastic. She won't be any more trouble than Noah, just about different things and in a different way. I think you're a great example, one of the best things she will get from you is how to be a true friend. Take it from me, you've got that down pat. She will also learn how to be creative, how to take time for herself, how to blend in with the boys and enjoy them too but still appreciate being a woman. All things you are fabulous at. You'll do great, and I bet it's probably way more scarey to anticipate it than it actually will be. I love ya!
Wow! I had never thought of all of that. After reading your blog, I feel totally inadequate with my little girl! I had never looked at myself as the example of a woman that our little Kaite would grow up to emulate. Now I am totally freaked out!!!!
Carrie: thanks for your words of encouragement. You are a true friend and I love you. I know this is silly and it will be okay
Polli: I did not mean to freak you out. I see you with your sweet Kaite and you are an amazing mom. I will strive to follow your example and probably will bombard you for advice. Love ya too
I love my little Kira, she is best little girl I know. Girls are so wonderful Laurie, you'll love having her. Only people who haven't had a little girls are the ones who have told me that girls are harder than boys and well how would they know?
Having both I can say they are both wonderful. They both show love in different ways and they have their different personalities but I couldn't imagine my life without either of them.
I love that cake what a thoughtful aunt!
Ok, I know I am gross, but in the picture of the cake, the pink bottle looks like a wang.
Kersten, I laughed until I cried. And Laurie, I have no experience with girls, but I know you are an excellent mom to Noah and that you are probably constantly praying to be a good mom in the first place. You know that Heavenly Father will help you, and your little girl will be just exactly what you need in your life!(Plus, when you're old, she'll take care of you!) :)
I read your post last night and I must say it had the same effect on me as it did Polli.It scares me that Allie looks up to me but I got over that in the first couple of weeks after she was born. Lou you are an amazing mother I have always looked up to you and followed a lot of your examples
Sounds like the way you feel about having a girl is the way I felt about having a boy! Now that I have one I wonder why I was so scared. He's the cutest little thing and your girl will be the cutest little thing too.
I love my girls cause they are just as dirty and rough as any boy, but can still be girly girls when I need them to be.
I have no doubt that you will be a great mother no matter what!
Congrats! It's so exciting that you're having a girl! You're going to be wonderful with a baby girl. :) She'll be a lucky girl to have you as her mom.
It's a girl! I'm so happy. I cannot say how much we have thought about you and Kersten since landing in Austria. Miss you more than ever. I'm so sad that I'm missing this baby....
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