An Anniversary of Sorts

I know you just read the title to my post and immediately wanted to know, what anniversary is this Laurie? It is not your birthday, you got married in May, so what could it be? Well, it might not be the happiest of anniversaries but, this day 16 years ago changed my life forever. It changed everything, the way I thought about myself, the way I ate, the routines I kept, the friends I made and kept and in a lot of way it reminded me of my immortality. I have such weird memories and images in my head of this day. I remember my Dad's face painted in beaver makeup for the play, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, I remember driving away from the donut shop with a raised donut with chocolate icing, I remember the Eye Doctor squinting at my paperwork looking concerned asking if I had "Diabetes" which I responded with a rousing "NO". I remember strange words and confusion and no one explaining what was going on. They then dragged me into the break room for they needed my seat for another patient and the doctor finally answering some of my questions. I remember my Dad's face in anguish, kneeling in front of me as I told him as only a fourteen year old can with resolve and bravoto that "I would just go blind. for we could not afford the surgeries." And then how his face changed into relief and laughter as he explained it was not necessary. I remember rushing to Dr Gambles, my pediatrician right at closing and there meeting my mom. I saw his wife sitting on a bench patiently waiting for she had finally got a babysitter and they were going on a date that night. I still can feel the guilt I felt for delaying their date. I remember him frantically looking through books about how to care for me and what to do. I remember walking in the back door and seeing my brother and sisters in the family room. I remember looking at our neighbor Curtis Cannon who was playing checkers with Emilee and saying "I haven't eaten all day and all I can have is a tortilla with peanut butter." And him saying quietly,"I'm Sorry." Mad, confused, worried and hurt that I had been ruined and I had ruined my family.

It is funny looking back and remembering. I had two eye surgeries in the short time after that and will blog on those days also. I remember my mother tenderly waking me up in the middle of the night to help me test and eat. I remember being in bed for 4 months only able to watch TV. I did love to read before that but it became an obsession afterwards. I remember looking at the crumbs on my carpet with the strong desire to vacumn without being able too. I remember begging my siblings to do it for me. Vacumning is now one of my favorite household chores. I remember doing puzzles with a sweet 11 year old girl that would come and visit me when none of "my friends" never even called that whole time.

This day changed me and sometimes I think for the better. Other times I still get angry for all the spirling events that have acurd over the years. The stigma, the pity, the worry and the inconvience this disease poses. I now can also see the blessings that it has created in my life

So to celebrate I think tonight that Kersten and I will go get a donut. (Ironic I know)