In high school I cut out magazine pictures of people in love and gathered quotes about love and made a "Love Book". I spent hours and hours on this endeavor. I ended up with 2 huge binders of quotes and pictures and 2 file folders in my file cabinet, that I still just can't throw away. I got the idea from one of my Laurel advisors from church who had the most amazing activity that inspired me.
I spent hours dreaming, scheming, planning and preparing to find and meet my true love. I just knew it would be full of passion, understanding and that we would be in perfect harmonious bliss together. I hit quite a few pit falls in my search for love but, we all have our stories. And when the reality that I might love this person instead of just liking him a lot hit me, I could not speak, my jaw had hit the floor and my best friend had to nudge me to get me moving so we could leave the airport. It was blissful and perfect. And he was and is so handsome and charming and all those beautiful things I imagined. When he finally kissed me on the roof with the stars glittering over head, I thought my soul would burst with happiness. We spent a perfect year together, deep in love and making many mistakes but trusting and talking things through. When he left I felt like my heart had shriveled up into a piece of dried fruit and I did not know how I would move on. I did, and I went to school and dated, played and met many more men. But none of them were him. He unexpectedly had to come home due to an injury that involved surgery and the whole nine yards. We spent the summer, secretly touching fingers under the table and later on, one armed hugs. Talking and talking until we had nothing more to say so we just sat in blissful silence. He left again and it was hard again. But I managed a bit better. And when he returned it was all we could do not to be together every minute of every day. When he proposed on that frigid December evening under the twinkling lights my dreams had come true. He was all I had dreamed and more. That February we had a test, I did not know it was a test at the time. Looking back it was a defining moment when I knew that I had made the right choice. I got sick, really really sick and at this point I had never been so sick. My dearest love was beside me every minute of getting better and the nurses thought that we were already married. I knew then as I know now that he will always care for me in times of need.
I will never forget kneeling across the altar, and when he said Yes, with a wink and a smile that bound us together as one for the rest of all eternity. I knew that I had found it. I had True Love like I had dreamed. I knew there was no possible way that we would not live Happily ever after. And the truth of it is, that we have. But now 11 some odd years later I know that true love is more than the bliss, the passion, the oneness and what we think it should be. It is the small and very large things that every couple must endure. The reality is that along with the passion there is anger, anxiousness and impatience. That with the courage and protectiveness comes fear and paranoia. That love flows and bends and melds into things you knew and need to learn so that it can stand the tests of time. A very shocking realization is that there are times you could say you hate the one you swore to love for all time and beyond. That he annoys and bugs you and that you can feel complaintcant toward him.
The absolute greatest example I know of true love is my grandparents. Oh, their love was legendary. I strived to find that and live like they did. The first summer with my love I walked with my grandmother and she told me the stories and the reality of living with such love. I look back now and am in awe that she knew just what to share and how. It is something I hold quite dear. Recently I was talking with one of my sisters and my grandparents great love came into the conversations. And with talking with her she sparked all these thoughts. By the time I knew my grandparents they had raised 5 children, had numerous grandchildren, lost a business, retired and then some. They had LIVED their life. They had struggled, fought and strived for their relationship and their love. It could not have been easy for my grandma. My grandpa traveled a lot and I mean a lot. She raised the children a lot on her own. And when he was home he wanted peace and quiet. He yelled a lot and wanted things a certain way. But he also adored her and his children, he cared for them. She chose to stay so very much in love with him. So that what I remember is how they learned to talk to each other, they had learned the silly eccentricities of each other and embraced their differences and just cared and loved one another. He always called her "His Bride" and his "gorgeous dish". She always giggled and kissed him.
LOVE is something we have to fight for. It is something that we choose to do every single day. The love I wanted and dreamed of is not something that happens after he finds my shoe and sweeps me off my feet to take me away forever. It is something we work for every single day. Every minute we make choices whether to solidify our love or drive it away. And it has to be the choice of both of the lovers. And you have to keep making that choice even when it crap and not fair. It is good to be the first to calm down and forgive. To force the real issues to be talked about. Because if you do have True Love, your love will fight with you and do romanticall things because he knows you love it. And when he sneaks up behind you to hold you close and calls you "Bride" because he always has and now you know how significant that is. You can relish in his love and remember that this is forever and it is so so so much better than you dreamed. And then you giggle and kiss him with all you've got.
